What My Heart Could Never See Before
by Waffletime
Summary: Helena is leaving her world behind her. Disappearing, without a trace. Like so many others before her, she comes to Yuko, a witch who can grant any wish. But Helena can't just travel by herself. There are other people with her, with secrets and sorrows. It takes time to get to know people. That's only natural. But she didn't expect to fall in love so easily.


No matter what I did, I knew I couldn't wake up from this dream. If I did, then the harsh and boring reality would all come chasing after me again. But I couldn't let it catch up with me this time. Hide. For as long as I can.

It wasn't long ago that I was betrayed by someone very, very dear to me. Because of this, I'm not sure what to believe anymore. God, it's like my heart was ripped out from my chest and it hurts so much. I thought the sting would fade by now, but this pain won't go away. Maybe I should tell you my story. But where do I begin?

Maybe I'll start...by where I am now. And then as I tell my story little by little, you'll put all the pieces together. All these...broken pieces. I know I can't. Because these are the mysterious pieces of my heart that I'm trying to find. And as I do so, I'll make a story of my own and try to start my life over again.

This is the story of my crumbled heart:

I feel myself shaking. It's like an earthquake that comes suddenly and unexpectedly, waking me up.

"Excuse me, miss", says a soft voice. I'm lured out of my dreams and brought back to real life as the light makes me squint my eyes. I sit myself up from the concrete I was sleeping on. I felt sick and dizzy as my head pounded relentlessly.

That voice was familiar. I turned to it and saw the blond man from earlier. He was smiling at me, like everything was fine. I believed it for a second, until my head started pounding again.

"I see you finally woke up. You had me worried", he said.

"Oh. Where am I?" I asked.

"I don't know...", he replied, "But it's nothing like the world I left behind". He looked at some of his surroundings, foreign screaming through what he saw. "What about you?", he asked with slight curiosity.

"Maybe", I stated. He laughed and the thought crossed my mind that he was acting. Something slightly off key in his laugh...but maybe it was just my imagination. 'Calm down, Helena', I thought to myself, 'Just watch how this plays out and then you'll know if you can trust him or not.' I breathed in and took in my surroundings. Now that I noticed it, It seemed there were a few over turned cars and some of the rubble from buildings and such was spread around the cracked road. As far as I could tell...we were on a bridge. Tall buildings surrounded, and it seemed that not too many other people were here. Was there some sort of fight going on?

So...what on Earth happened? It looked like we suddenly landed in the middle of a normal-looking city, not a different dimension. What if that "witch" Yuko actually just played a hoax on us and took are most valuable possessions? Then she probably drugged us or something and dumped us here. But then again...how was she capable of taking off the blond man's tattoo without even touching it? What if the blond man was working with her and was in on on the hoax? That sword that she took from...Kurogane was it? That looked really expensive. And my golden necklace my mother gave me was super expensive too! I wasn't going to completely trust these people until I was absolutely certain that I was actually dimension traveling.

I held back my suspicious looks and gave the man a small smile. "Hello. I'm sorry... what was your name again?", I asked rubbing my head.

"Fai D. Flourite", he said, slightly bowing his head, "At your service."

'Fancy', I thought. "I'm Helena Chandler, nice to meet you", I said, trying to give my most trusting smile.

I heard a voice grunt from behind me. Fai and I both turned and gave our attention. It was another person I had met at the witch's store. The tall guy who gave up his sword. He looked really intimidating, and his lips were formed into a scowl. His sharp red eyes looked at us.

"Um...", was all I could think of tell him.

"What do you mean, 'um'?", he asked me fiercely. It almost sent shivers down my spine.

"What's your name?", I asked nervously.

"Kurogane", he stated.

"Kurogane", Fai said in a musical tune. He closed his eyes for a moment, as if thinking about something. "How about...Kurgy. Or...Kuro-puu?".

"You can call me by name", he said firmly. Then a strange creature jumped on his lap. It looked like a rabbit, but then it started talking.

"Kuro-puu, Kuro-puu!", it chanted.

"IT'S KUROGANE!"

Everything seemed strange, like it wasn't real. I wasn't sure how to feel about the situation, all I could do was wait it out and see what happens. Hopefully it wouldn't be so many unanswered days.

I coughed loudly, accidentally attracting the men's attention. I looked away from them so that hopefully their gazes would go somewhere else. Then Mokona jumped from Kuro's lap into mine. I frowned at it. What the heck was this? Besides, I was trying to avoid attention.

"Helena doesn't look well!", it said worriedly, and yet somewhat sweetly.

"I don't? Hmm. I don't feel too well, either. But I think I'll be fine. Your name is Mokona, right?"

"Mokona is Mokona!", it cheerfully said. What a strange thing. Maybe Yuko wasn't a fake after all. I don't know how someone could fake a talking rabbit-thingy.

Suddenly a boy I remembered as Syaoran stirred in his sleep and suddenly sat up. "Sakura!", he said worriedly. He calmed down immediately when he saw the sleeping girl in his arms. He looked really young, but it seemed like he was an old soul.

His girlfriend didn't seem so well either. She was pale, and she looked like someone close to death.

"Hey! What are you doing? You have to get out of here!", a boy suddenly yelled. We all turned our attention to him.

"Why?" asked Syaoran. I already had stood up while everyone else was still sitting. 'What do you mean why?', I thought. There's obviously some sort of battle going on that we landed in the middle of. Hence all the over turned cars and damage done to the surrounding buildings.

"What do you mean, why? Oh, don't tell me that you're not from around here!", he yelled from a slight distance, looking at our clothes.

"No", Fai said, "What an interesting observation".

I made my way over to the boy. "What does it matter why?", I asked the other people travelling with me. "If there's danger then you should listen. If you haven't noticed, simply your surrounding can tell you that some sort of battle is going on. We don't know how dangerous this situation is, but maybe you should get up instead of waiting to find out." With that, I turned around and ran to a bus that looked like a good enough shelter off the street.

Behind me I heard the sound of shuffling feet and I didn't stop to wait for them. They all followed me and we all sat down, including the boy.

"You're a student, aren't you?", I asked. It was obvious to me, considering my world was like this one.

"Yes", he said, just as I expected.

"Thank you for warning us. That was very kind. But do you think you could tell me the situation?", I asked curiously.

"W-well, you see, there are two gangs that fight a lot."

"So this is there doing? This doesn't look like a remnants of a gang fight in my world...it looks like they have super powers or something."

He slightly looked up to see if any action was happening. "Not a super power", he corrected me, "A Kudan."

"Kudan? What is that?", I inquired. He turned to me again.

"It's-", suddenly he was interrupted by a loud boom that caught all of our attention. We looked to the source of the sound and suddenly these guys with colorful Mohawks and leather jackets appeared.

"Oh dear, they're back again", the kid said fearfully.

"Oh yeah?", Kurgy said, "And who are they?"

Then another group of men appeared, who all had goggles in their eyes as if they were pilots.

'These are the two gayest gangs I have ever seen', I thought. But I knew I shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Let's see them fight, first. Then I'll judge them.

"Today's the day, Shoujo, so don't try to run!", a short fat guy with a pink Mohawk yelled. He was pointing a finger at a guy who was pretty tall and skinny.

"Yeah, I wouldn't dream of it", the guy who I guessed was 'Shoujo' responded.

"Those two gangs have been fighting for this territory around this bridge for as long as I can remember", the student stated.

'Then why are they destroying it?', I thought. 'They're so caught up with fighting that they're oblivious to the fact that they are really wrecking the area around this bridge. Like zombies. So far, I'm not impressed.'

"I hear this is the last battle. They're completely bashing it out, and winner takes all", the boy said.

"Well, at least this sounds interesting", Kurogane said. "But it doesn't even look like any of these guys have a weapon so how are they supposed to fight each other?"

"I think that's where this 'Kudan' comes in", I suggested, "Maybe it is something that is only a part of this country, don't you think? Something people have here...but I could be wrong." I was careful to only say 'country', and not 'world'. I wouldn't want to sound like I'm not of this world and have to explain or make myself suspicious.

"No", the boy said, "You're exactly right. Good deduction." He said.

"Why thank you", I said. "So I guess we'll have to wait and see how this Kudan works."

Suddenly there was yelling of the men's voices and it was almost like they were charging at each other, when suddenly blue and red balls crossed and collided in the sky. Water and fire. It was amazing, I'd never seen anything like it. And I couldn't help but leave my mouth hanging open in awe. For a few seconds I heard no sound. Somehow the amazement drowned out the noise of destruction, as I experienced the realization that this wasn't just a hoax that this witch had done. I was in another world entirely now. And I was walking away from my problems at home without a trace... just for a little while.

Then the heavy sounds came back to my no longer deaf ears and it seemed strange that this was happening. They were shooting at each other with their Kudans, not stopping for a second.

Suddenly Syaoran gasped and we all turned to see Fai reaching for something on him. It was a feather, it was a memory that would help her for now.

"And Yuko said this wouldn't be easy", Fai said care-free.

"That's quite a coincidence, don't you think?", Syaoran said.

"There is no coincidence, my friend. Only inevitability", he said seriously, closing his eyes. Then his eyes opened again and his serious face was replaced with a slight smile. "That's the last thing she said to us before we left, remember? Guess she knew what she was talking about. But then again- maybe you just got really lucky."

"Lucky!", Mokona childishly said.

"...Whatever it is, I'd give it to her quickly if I were you", He said, finally handing it to Syaoran.

For some reason, I thought something was off about Fai when that happened. I couldn't put my finger on it, though. Either he had really excellent acting skills or he was completely sincere.

Suddenly, A ball of orange came shooting at us and Mokona yelled, "Watch out!"

I was in the way, and before I could move from the danger it struck on the ground and through me against the hard metal of the bus. Great. This was going to ruin my whole day.

I think I may have passed out, because when I awoke, I was laying on a futon with bandages on my head and arm. My head was pounding more violently and I wasn't sure if I could move without hurting myself more. I didn't have any idea where I was, but a feeling of safety overcame me and I knew it was alright.

It was cold, and I pulled the sheets over my slightly shaking body. It was a very simple room. There was a table in the corner, and a small cushion to sit on. There was a window with plain white curtains that blew steadily through the window. The wind was dancing around and making me shiver.

I got up and approached the window, looking out of it. A beautiful view of the city was displayed before me, making me smile slightly. The city went on for quite a distance, and the moon hung above completing the scene. I observe the building, see it was only two stories. It looked like apartments, or maybe it was a motel.

I shut the window and the white curtains become still. I lied back onto the futon as I heard the sound of piercingly quiet voices coming from the hallway. It was dark in my room. Light from the sliding door shed through only slightly. I couldn't decide if I should wait for someone to check on me or if I should go and see where my traveling companions went. I was in the middle of a yawn when I heard the sliding door open.

I looked up and saw a woman with long black hair come in. "Hello, miss", I greeted. I sat back up and crossed my legs. Now that I noticed it...I was changed into comfortable pajamas.

"Oh, I'm glad you're awake", she smiled kindly as she sat beside me. "They told me your name is Helena, right?"

"Yes. And by 'they' you mean Fai, Kurgy, and Syaoran?", I inquired.

"Yes. They're all in the room next to yours, on the left. Do you wish to see them?"

I didn't want to go just yet. My head hurt and I had a few more questions to ask. "No, thank you. What is your name?"

"I call myself Arashi", she said, "Nice to meet you."

"Oh. Nice to meet you too", I said, giving her my hand. She takes it and shakes it as I prepare to ask her another question.

"Were you the one who changed my clothes, Arashi?"

"Oh, yes. I hope you don't mind. You hit the back of your head on a bus, and your arm was scratched by broken glass when the Kudan suddenly fired at you. So the blood stained your clothes and I had to wash it", she explained with concern crossing on her face.

"No, no. I don't mind. Wow...all that happened?", I asked, sincerely surprised.

"Yes. Those two gangs have been fighting for so long, and Kudans can be dangerous. You have to use them wisely or you'll end up hurting others. I'm so sorry you got caught up in that, and if you need anything, just ask me, okay?", she said with a small smile.

I smile back. "Okay. I will, thank you. But I need to ask you one more thing- how on Earth did Syaoran and the other's pay to sleep in a motel?"

"They didn't", she said. "Actually, my husband and I owed Yuko a favor, so we are letting you stay until you find the feather from this world."

"The feather...right." Suddenly I realized something. "But I thought Fai had already found the feather on Syaoron. And how are we going to find the feather?"

"Seems you have a bit to discuss with your friends. When you're ready, just go to the room that's next to you on the left, okay?" I nodded and she stood up and left, closing the sliding door behind her. She told me all I needed to know, and now I was ready to go and see my other "friends".

I stood up from my futon and walked to the room next to mine. I noticed that the hallway was lined with doors labeled with numbers. Maybe it was apartments.

The bandage is still on my head and arm, and my hair is slightly knotted. My pajamas are wrinkled and I know I look unpresentable. Even so, I open the sliding door and see 3 faces turn to me. Well, four...if I include mokona.

"Uh...hi", I said uncertainly, looking down and walking in. I didn't really know what to say. I should ask then about the feather, but my head hurt so much and I couldn't think straight.

"I see you finally woke up", Fai said.

"I did?", I asked, holding my forehead, head down, not looking at any of them. I mentally smacked myself for asking such a stupid question.

Fai laughed. "Are you feeling better, Helena? You had us all worried."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't move out of the way fast enough." I knew that I must have looked like a complete idiot in front of them. "That was so stupid", I stated.

I thought I heard a "tsk" come from one of them and I looked up. It was Kurogane. "Why are you apologizing? It's not like you got yourself hurt on purpose."

"I know. That was- a one time thing, and I'll try to be more careful. Especially in dangerous situations." I sat down in a corner, and looked at the motionless girl with orange hair sleeping on a futon in the middle of the room. Then I looked at Syaoran, and back down at Sakura.

"Um, Syaoron?", I asked his attention.

He looked at me. "Yes?"

I stared at him for a second and let the worry come to my face. "How is Sakura doing?"

He looked back down at Sakura and held her hand. "She's going to be alright. I'm going to find all of her feathers, no matter what." He smiled a little bit and added, "Besides, her color is really improving because of that feather."

"I'm glad. She's really lucky yo have someone like you", I said, truly relieved. He looked up at he and smiled, then back down to Sakura, with gentle and loving eyes.

"So um...anything interesting happen while I was out?", I asked inquiringly.

"Syaoran-kun has a Kudan!", Mokona stated cheerfully.

"Really? But how?", I asked, leaning in. "So even if you're from another world ...you can have one?"

"Yes", Syaoron said.

I gasped, "Then that must mean each of us is going to find a Kudan!", I concluded.

"I seem to have a Kudan of fire", Syaoran stated.

I nodded and laughed in delight. "Oh, wow. That's so interesting. Nothing like this ever happens in my world. I wonder what all of our Kudans are going to end up being", I said. I was truly excited about this world.

Then I remembered why I was even here in the first place. My smile fell straight away as I remembered the pain again. I realized that these were only a couple of strangers, and everyone I loved was gone. I knew that I was actually alone, and I would be for a long time. That's all it was now. And I ran away to start over.

I sighed and leaned against the wall behind me, wanting to sink into it and not be here. I just don't know how it got like this. I knew that the other people were watching me. They were going to think I was bipolar if I didn't give an explanation to my suddenly sad face. I could feel sharp, red eyes looking at me and piercing me. It was kind of annoying, and I couldn't help but glance at Kurogane.

"Sorry, I'm really worn out. But I am pretty excited about the Kudans. I'm new to this sort of thing, that's why", I said. I could feel that Kurogane wasn't buying it, and I glanced at him again. In his eyes I saw he let it pass, though not convinced. That was good enough for me.

Suddenly a man with a bowl of snacks came in and said, "Okay, here you guys are. My wife also made some tea!"

He set the bowl down in the middle of the room, considering there weren't any tables. His wife followed and he turned around, noticing me and his eyes widened as she passed around the drinks on a tray. "Thank you", I heard Fai and Syaoran say as she gave it to them.

"You", the man said, looking at me with recognition.

I didn't know this guy, and had never seen him before. "Me?", I asked.

"Don't I know you? Aren't you Lana?"

My eyes widened and I stood up from the floor. "No. How did you know my mother?", I asked.

"So you're her daughter then", he said with realization. "I'm Mr. Sorata. I was going to say, you look a lot younger than I would have expected", he added with a laugh.

"Oh, wow", I can't help but say. "How did you two meet?", I asked curiously. The other travelers in the room look at us, their attention already caught.

"She's actually a friend of my wife", he said. "Why didn't you tell me Arashi? Wow, we haven't seen Lana in such a long time. When is she coming back?", he asked me.

I looked at Arashi and she smiled at me as Kurogane took a tea from the tray. She walked towards me and offered me one, too. I took the tea, never losing eye contact with her. "Why not tell me at first, Arashi? Wouldn't you have recognized me, too?"

"I did, but...I didn't want to...", her smile falters.

"to remind me. You didn't want to bring back sad memories.", I complete the sentence on my own. "I bet you guys must've been pretty close." I can't find it in me to smile.

"Yes. I'm so sorry. When I found out, I...", her voice breaks and I see her husband's eyes fill with realization. Then, with closed eyes in disbelief, he sighs and looks at the ground. I'm still the corner I had claimed, only standing. Standing very still. The room is quiet as Arashi's voice breaks at the end and she doesn't finish the sentence. I know the others realize this, as well. Unintentionally, I am officially the first person to reveal something about my past to them.

"I had no idea", the man says.

"I know".

"You had a wonderful mother, she was a dear friend of mine", Mrs. Sorata says. She wipes her moist eyes, and holds me unexpectedly.

"Thank you", is all I can really say. Her embrace takes me by surprise, and something is slightly on my mind. "But how did you guys meet?, especially considering you're from a different world entirely."

"She actually traveled through dimensions once, but she had the ability to control it." I can feel Arashi smile proudly on my shoulder as she talks of her old friend. My mouth opens.

"What?!", I blurt, shocked. "There's no way. She never even told me about this, and I even remember Yuko telling us that being able to control where we go is impossible!"

My mouth hangs open and Arashi let's me go, crossing her arms in front of her chest as though she is cold. "Your mother was quite amazing. It's never happened before in the history of dimension travelling, just with your mother. That's probably why Yuko didn't mention it to you. But you should be very proud. "

I walk away from my small corner ...just a few steps and I look at the floor. "I am proud...I guess. But this is kind of hard to take in. Heck, there's a talking rabbit and I'm traveling dimensions with kudans and other wacky stuff.. I'm not even sure what's real anymore. But still...why did she never tell me?", I say. I can feel everyone's eyes on me as I ask this in amazement. I know she's not here to tell me, but I still wonder.

"You didn't know?", Syaoran was slightly in awe. I look to him and shake my head no.

"Not at all...", I laugh.

"Maybe Helena inherited that gift as well", Fai chirpily suggested. At this, Kurogane's back straightened up in interest.

"Huh?", I asked turning to him.

"Maybe, there is a small chance that you can control which dimensions you wish to travel to-just like your mother."

I gasp in realization. "I'll have to find out, then." Them something occurs to me. "You want to get to your world, right Kurogane?", I say, looking at him now.

He nods. "That's right. All I want to do is get back to my world."

I smile. "If there's a chance I inherited that power from my mother, then I'll help you. But I'm not even sure...", doubt laced my words sincerely.

"Anyway, If I can chose where I want to travel, then I'll take you home."

He simply stared at me, not necessarily with an angry expression, but rather with uncertainty in his eyes. He looked to the side, breaking eye contact.

I looked back to the Soratas. "Thank you so much for telling me this", I say. "If it's okay, do you think we can talk about her some more another time tomorrow?"

"Of course!", Arashi says. "You might not stay here long, so it's best to find out as much as possible." She holds me again, and this time I hug her back, feeling a little less alone than before. I'm so grateful. And even a little humbled, in a way. To hear my mom could do such amazing things... I was truly proud of her, and I've always been proud of her.

"I think I should check on your bandages, too.", she realized, looking at my forehead.

"Actually", I said, "I want to ask the rest of the group some more things."

Arashi and I pulled away from each other and she nodded in understanding. "Sure. I'll leave you to it, then." She took her husband's hand and they went through the sliding door, leaving me alone with the others.

I turned to them. "Do you know how you're going to find all the feather's, Syaoran?"

Suddenly Mokona jumped in front of me and I caught her in my hands. "Like this!", it said. Mokona's eyes widened gigantically, revealing a beautiful purple for only a second. I stand there, stunned. It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. "Uh...well that's interesting, but how's that going to help?"

"Mokona has memorized the feather's wavelength, so when a feather is nearby, Mokona will make her eyes real wide!", it said.

"Oh wow. You can sense wavelength?", I asked it.

"It's one of Mokona's 108 talents!", she stated proudly. I smiled. I had to admit, it was kind of cute.

"So you sensed the feather on Syaoran's cape, the one Fai spotted?", I inquired.

"That's what I asked Mokona", Fai spoke up. "But it turns out that she sensed a different feather."

"Another one? So more than one feather can be in a world at a time", I said. I sat down in my corner again and Fai continued, "Tomorrow we should look around the city, and try to find it."

"Like I said already", Kurogane suddenly spoke, "This has nothing to do with me."

Syaoran nodded his head in understanding, it seemed like they'd already been through this.

"What about you?", he suddenly turned to ask me, "Are you going to help that brat out?"

I grabbed a strand of my brown hair and played with it. "Why of course. I'd be happy to. Besides, I really want to explore the city." I looked at Syaoran now, "I'll help you and Sakura as much as I can, Syaoran."

He nods and smiles at me, and I smile back.

"Well, I think it's time for us to go to sleep so that we won't be too tired tomorrow", Fai suggested.

"Okay. I think I'm going to go sleep in the other room. Goodnight, guys", I say.

"Goodnight, Helena", Fai said. I smiled at them, then shut the sliding door behind me.

I breathed in deeply when I heard the door shut. I walked back alone to the room I slept in earlier. Currently, I wasn't sure how to feel. My mother passed away only four years ago, but the pain subsided by now, and I didn't cry about it all the time anymore. It's sad, of course. I try not to think of it. I just couldn't believe my mom never told me that she used to travel dimensions. I laughed, reaching for my locket. Under my hand, I felt nothing as I touched my cold chest. Then I remembered I gave up my mother's necklace so I could travel. My hand fell down to my side again as I realized that with sad disappointment. I wished I could have my locket back. It would have at least been a small comfort as I go into these strange, unfamiliar worlds I knew I could never call home.

I lied on my futon, feel myself crumbling to pieces and the moonlight shone through the window. The hatred and confusion of the betrayal I left behind in my now estranged world would have a place in my heart for so many unanswered days. And it would stay with me forever. Then, suddenly, my chest tightened. And my eyes closed in disbelief. I cried quietly, somewhat happy that no one was here to see this. But after a while the thought of a calming sleep brightened my face, and I shut my eyes tight. I was scared to return to my world. So for now, I was walking away, and walking alone. Without a trace...just for a little while. I knew no one would follow me. They weren't brave enough.

A silent song played from somewhere outside. It was a bit creepy, yet somewhat calming. I breath deeply, then, everything has fallen into silence. And with every beat of my heart, dreams take me.

* * *

_I've finally decided what I want. I want a real thing. I want a real story, and characters that other people can relate to. As for romance, why not make it exciting? I'm going to do something I'm very certain no one has ever done before- make a love triangle with who would include my original character, Kurogane, and Fai. Ultimately it's most likely Helena and Fai who fall in love at the end, considering that's what most people would want as an outcome, but come on? A triangle is new, not done often in this particular type of fanfiction. I refuse to let this be Mary-Sue, by God I will not let that happen. So, please review, as most writers truly enjoy those nice little compliments you fans give. I just like to write. Writing tsubasa chronicle fanfictions is not my life, but it is great practice in becoming a great writer and I enjoy it very much. So give my honest critique so I can be the best writer I can be. Thanks so much!_


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